Monday 20th July....
The continuing saga of the Coffee weasel!!....
God I had fun today. I went for a coffee date last Thursday with a random who had Zoosk’d me on Facebook!! That in itself should have put me off but this is the danger of being unemployed and slightly bored, you react to any possible entertainment. And he hadn’t said dinner, he had said coffee – how much harm could that do??
Following the date, received text messages telling me I was sexy and that he would like to see me again etc and then suddenly on Friday he had some strange messages on his Facebook wall which implies that he actually has a girlfriend. Why are these people so damn stupid when you can see these things?? Anyway, hadn’t wanted to tackle him on it, as he deleted these on Friday night and wanted to leave him wondering whether he had been sprung or not so waited till I heard from him and following chain of events ensued!!
Started getting texts at 1pm: (Key : W=weasel, B=me!!)
1pm – W : Hows you sexy? Xx
2pm – W : Are you not talking to me??
2.30pm – B : Yes but my sister is here for lunch, nice weekend? It is me who thought you were not talking to me
3:oopm – W: Been busy...
3.30pm – B: Ah, I thought you had been busy deleting give away posts from your girlfriend from you FB Wall????
BIG PAUSE....
4:30pm – W: No, been in Nottingham – what are you talking about, don’t know what you mean? (kisses stopped here LOL)
4:45pm – B: Oh just saw some weird messages appear like they were by a girlfriend Friday and then they all disappeared – you deleted them I guess...just like honesty, call me cynical...
4:50pm – W: Well be cynical then...your loss!! (Cheek!!)
5:00pm – W: Oh that!! (suddenly seems to dawn, amazing eh????) She is just someone who I have been out with a couple of times, she wants more and I do like her but she keeps mucking me about, is nothing
5:30pm – B: well seems a strange way of dismissing someone who appears quite a lot in your pics including holiday snaps going back 3 years!!!! If there’s no issue why did you delete them, and hasn’t she asked why you deleted them?
6:00pm – W: No
At this point I deem my job done, his ego deflated and can’t be bothered anymore. I hope he deletes himself from my Facebook soon but hasn’t so far and makes me feel sick to think that out of boredom have lined up two other dates this week. Please god they won’t be the same!!
Apart from that pretty busy today, sister came for lunch and had haircut this afternoon. Remember now vividly the last time I had hair cut and felt like a small boy for months till it grew out. Nuff said!!
Tuesday 21st July....
Date with word tax boy!....
Well approached this one with a lot of trepidation. To re-set the scene, had met Mr X whilst out, he had chatted me up, I had then found out he was 27!!!! A mere babe for god’s sake, then had reluctantly agreed to go out about 2 months ago which was then cancelled due to a leg breaking incident (on his part). This information was thoroughly investigate by me and found to be true as opposed to the usual lie/excuse/whatever. Anyway he suddenly resurfaced last week and said “if I thought you would say yes I would ask you out again”. I refer you to being bored and so after much laying down of the law in terms of “if you blow me out again you’re dead to me” and all of that kind of shit, I agreed again to go out, to the same place we were supposed to go before (probably should have thought this through as bad karma but still...) and today is the day!!
Two hours before said date, he texts me, my heart drops and I read “I’m still ok for tonight. You still ok”. Now this man isn’t one of many words, many of his text or mail messages appear like he is on some kind of word tax but at least, it seems, he is planning on turning up. Stage 1 completed. But as I sit outside the venue 10 minutes before, not wanting to get there before him, I suddenly realise that I don’t know much about him other than he has a child and plays footie (often with the result of collateral damage it seems) and he doesn’t seem to use many words – eeeekkk!! Try phoning two mates to pump me up for this but neither answer their phones – damn them.
8pm, see his van approach and he goes in – I follow (discreetly of course, at a distance) and then sneak up behind him at the bar and prod him in the back (classy!!) At this point he smiles, offers me a drink (which he duly buys albeit a mere lime and soda, we are out in the middle of nowhere after all so I can’t even get plastered which is surely a potential issue!
We sit down at a table and I prepare for the ensuing silence...And then have the wind knocked right out of my sails as he chats away happily, takes the piss that I must know all the songs on the sad backing CD in the pub (as they are clearly pre 1985 and he was only born in 1982!!), apologises for how long coming this has been, and says he thinks it’s funny that I take the piss out of how few words he sends me by text.
Proceed to have a lovely evening – obviously could be better with alcohol hahaha but chat is fine, the boy is pretty beautiful and all is well in the world.
Leave the pub at 10.30 and thus ensues the horrendous wait to see if I have a text saying “bye bye old lady, you’re horrid and I never want to see you again” or even worse, THAT silence where nothing ever comes. Luckily mate phones me, during which I give her a post-mortem and hear a text arriving in the background. Secretly hope it is him saying something reasonable but the post-morten is fair too important to cut short the phone call.
Get off the phone to mate when I walk through the door and check texts:
X : Had a really nice time tonight
Me: So did I thanks – sleep well angel
X: Goodnight sweetheart – ok so still only two words but one of them was a nice one - YAY!!!
Wednesday 22nd July....
Self defence expert maybe but perhaps needs to be!....
Today features date as nothing much else happened.
Anyway here is the synopsis written immeadiately after I came home at 12.30:
Just in case I forget the finer details tomorrow:
Turned up, was relieved he was not vile...
He was however as predicted about 5 foot 7 not 5 foot 9 (I know because I was as much above him as I was with Tony in heels, me that is in heels LOL)
At the beginning I thought, he’s quite cute, and he was chatty and he’s quite interesting yes...
Then... there was a time when I went to the loo that the second I stood up he eyed me up and down, proper up and down – didn’t like it
He drank at least 3 beers, he had driven and I began to think, hmmm if this is a plot to “stay over” you can forget it sunshine
He talked about exes which is no problem...BUT he talked about the really bad ones in a really bitter type way (rather than just not mentioning them and they were SPECIFIC ones)
He is 40, he has just bought a teeny one bed like min (no probs) but before, he kept banging on about fine dining, swanky restaurants and all that (and now I feel really guilty cos of where I took him and he paid) and he clearly has NO money AND has a real chip on his shoulder about anyone who does or who has nice things and *rubs his face in it* !!!!
After dinner he wanted to go for yet another drink (i knocked it on the head here!!! For fear of having him on my bleeding sofa)
As his hair gel wore off, his hair became less dark, more grey (once again no problem) but also showed up a bad haircut (and I ask you is it that hard for a boy to get a haircut)
I asked him what degree he had and then said “I think it’s psychology”. It was and I think he got the arse about the fact that I had guessed (which really isn’t that hard!!
He also said that he thought I sounded like JODIE MARSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I ask you....
I think that may be it!! He’s a definate no!!!
He then texted me later saying:
“Home safe. Thanks for your smashing company.” Oh god, how to bin it!!
hursday 23rd July....
Hmmm pleasure and pain principle does exist!!....
Got text from wednesday date last night - “It’s quiet in here said Rhubarb...
Couldn’t even THINK about how to approach the "don’t find you attractive bit” so did as I have been taught - if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing...
He clearly took that as I didn’t want to think anymore about it and was quiet for rest of day!
On the plus side, word tax boy later texted me and said
“So, do you know in advance what you are having for dinner tomorrow night then?”
I said “yes, cow!!” (Thought I would be smart and play him at the word tax game)
He said “good choice”
I said “errm yes, sometimes I actually choose well”
He said “even men??” (which shocked the shit out of me)
I said “you tell me”
He said “ If you choose me then yes, I guess a definite yes is in order” (fell off the sofa)
I said “awesome, and you are even less shy now”
He said “getting there!”
Nice AND smiling!!!
Friday 24th July....
Uh oh!! The Aftermath....
I phoned the hairdresser yesterday and my usual lady is on holiday but spoke to another one about home dying my hair. I keep going to the hairdresser for it and clearly can’t keep affording it and it comes out so quickly I thought it worth asking. She said “just be careful, it won’t go green but it could well go wrong, it is not advisable”
So I think, sod it, let’s do it anyway. They would say that, and if it goes wrong I will have to make an emergency appointment somewhere LOL . Have bought Clairol Casting Creme Gloss Dark Chocolate – should be fun!! Then settle down to TRY and do some job hunting. Process is interrupted by mate who has thrown a sickie and is responding to my mails about car crash dating.
Then I get a text from self defence man: “Was at least 20 texts a day pre date. Don’t think I need PI training to figure that we’re not going to be Mr & Mrs, which is ok...I personally think I did something to offend you. Not sure what but the mood completely changed. I don’t think either of us are the type to pussy foot around. Let me know if you don’t even want to stay on touch by errr not replying I guess. Take care”
Send one back saying : “Sorry about silence yesterday, just had too much in my brain to even think about this. Was going to text you today anyway. Don’t believe that either of us felt a massive attraction (notice what I did there LOL) but would like to stay in touch anyway as mates if that’s ok with you!”
Hmmmmmmmmmmmm, why do I do this to myself!!! And more importantly, why did I say I want to be mates, oh god is too late now!!
Had a text about 4 hours later with some kind of half arsed joke, why can’t people just slope off gracefully, never to be heard of again????????
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