About me

So a bit about me:

I'm apparently "bright yet self deprecating which is a dangerous combo!!". Was told that recently and took it as a compliment...

I get bored really easily. This most often manifests itself within the career side of things but can come out fairly easily when it comes to men. See my CV for proof.

If I want to do something, I mainly just find a way to do it and get on with it. As illustrated by my fourres into private detectiving, recruitment and my own business.

People say I am a cynic and pessismistic but I dispute this. Yes I always kind of expect the worst but would argue that comes from experience. At the same time I always hope for the best in people. When it comes to relationships, I don't get bitter and twisted despite the catastrophes that have occured, I always throw myself optimistically and whole heartedly at things. I wish there was a word "Poptimist" - if there was then I would be that.

I am a wierdo magnet. This one is indisputable. If there is a wierdo lurking, they will actively seek me out. Have no idea why, maybe I have a face which looks like it won't tell you to fuck off no matter what you do - this is incorrect!! It used to be more true than nowadays. Admittedly I will give anyone a first chance and maybe a second but when you really start to push your luck I will lose my rag.

I like eating, drinking, watching films and people and reading. I used to like smoking but don't anymore, although I still haven't as yet managed to bin the habit.
I can sit for hours and just watch people, it's utterly fascinating (hence I think the PI obsession!)

I couldn't live in a world without music. I used to sing well, play things (clarinet & piano) well, now I do none of the above. The singing is reasonable I guess but years of smoking have put paid to any level of decency.

I hate sport. I can watch rugby but that's it. I don't like anything that makes me sweat or more importantly makes my hair go curly - it's a battle enough keeping it straight on a daily basis. Although I have finally realised that at somepoint one has to do something and am thinking of getting a punchbag as it would at least combine violence and cardio...

I love languages and travel. To me learning languages doesn't feel like work, it's more an opportunity to know more diverse people. If I can't go to a country and say within reason what I want to say in the language, I feel uncomfortable there.

I am completely OCD. I never thought this would be possible but if I haven't cleaned for a week I get antsy. If things aren't EXACTLY where they should be it makes me feel nervous. When particularly stressed I start compulsive hand washing and writing lists. I now try to not write lists about anything for fear of the list writing escalation!! And hand shaking puts the fear of god into me, I would rather kiss anyone at all.

Florence is one of my favourite places on earth, as is Crete where my parents (as they were then, now one is gone) have a house. People in Crete never want to be anywhere else, never want more "things", look after each other and are overwhelmingly friendly. All of these qualities are things I find admirable.

I love France and the french. I love their absolute refusal to conform, I love their occasional rudeness and I love their values. I would go back there and live there forever if anyone was ever stupid enough to come with me (although I would probably smoke and eat even more if I did)

I love animals and own a dog although he no longer lives with me. I view leaving my dog as one of the most despicable things I have ever done (despite the fact that he has a wonderful life with his "daddy" and he is very well looked after). I try not to think about it much as if I do, it makes me cry.

I love my eyes, my lips and my boobs. My eyes are hazel/green depending on sunlight and one has a small wierd speck in the middle of it. My lips are pretty full on so no botox for me there. Despite everything else seemingly heading south since my late 20's, my boobs are upright at all times and my entire circle of friends have been warned that if this ever changes, all shit will break loose!

I nearly always wear heels that are at least 4 inches. In spite of being reasonably tall I guess for a bird, if I wear flats I feel tiny and frumpy. I can't walk properly or drive in flat shoes, wierd but true.

This is a strange one after the last one but I hate feet (probably hence the need to make them as beautiful as possible with wicked footwear. If we could walk without them I would cut them off now. And anyone else's I view as even worse...

Diametrically opposed to my footwear, my clothing sense is awful. I have no sense of style or fashion and wear jeans 99.9% of the time even though I know they do me no favours at all. I would get up and put pyjamas and heels on everyday if I could get away with it.

I am I think, a good friend and have been lucky enough to have been blessed with the kind of friends that I thank god (or someone) for every day. My friends are not acquaintences, they are people you can rely on and I have often had to. I *hope* that this is because I deserve them by the way I treat them but either way it's good.

I am an absolute romantic. I left a man I care deeply about after 11 years because I thought there had to be more to it. Even if view of the disastrous dating since, I still believe it despite evidence to the contrary. I did not hurt someone I love to settle for even less and I never will change my mind on this. Unfortunately I appreciate that this could result in me being on my own forever.

I never used to like gardening, olives, feta cheese or anchovies. All of this has changed over the last 5 years. I will always remember the story that my 100 year old great granny told me about her not liking tomatoes her whole life. She tried them again at 99 and found them delicious, she then died 4 years later...I try to bear this lesson in mind at all times.

I can't stand white as a wall colour. Nothing in my house is white, if it has to be pale, it's cream or indian cotton. My wall colours are all colours, I live in a house, not a dentists.

I am motherless. This hasn't always been the case of course, more a recent development. Wierdly this is something that I had never considered possible but one mninute she had a "cold" and 4 months later she was dead. In between I watched something with horror and a strange mixture of awe ravage her and make the person she was completely disappear. If ever I have had a kick up the arse in life, this was it! It stills feels strangely surreal and even now I feel odd about it when I tell people that she's not here.

Probably as a direct result of the last thing, I have developed a new obsession with mediums, the paranormal and spiritualism. Not that odd I guess as a coping mechanism although I think my brother and sister both disagree strongly.

I adore my brother and sister! This wasn't always the case but in recent times has become much more so and am lucky to have both of them.

And for the moment, that is all I can think of although much more than I thought I originally would!